I got a mean message from Trier this morning. They said that their 'geduld war am ende' and that they needed my Kaution pronto. I knew this would happen, I've been afraid for some time that my unpromptness would bite me in the rear. So, tomorrow, I rush out and find Heather and figure out a way to pay my Kaution. Why don't I know how? I can't remember where to deposit the money! ARGH. Scary. So I'll run out and do it tomorrow since apparently their "geduld ist am ende' and that's sort of scary wording. They've already contacted Hamline but Hamline people can be understanding. What are they going to do about it? Cry?
I can't sleep now, all I can think about is getting my Kaution in. ARGH.
Monday, December 1, 2008
I Know...
It's been a month or so and I feel obligated to post again since I know some people actually read this. Here's what's happened in the last month or so (incoherant as it is):
1. Latvian Snowman!
Amanda and I, along with the help of our Latvian friends Didzis, Andris and Inessa, went out during the first snow fall and made a snowwoman, complete with boobs, and slid down the hill on plastic bags. We made snow angels but Didzis kept falling on my head since he's so tall and we wrote our names in snow. That was Latvian Snow Night.
2. Latvian Party Night
Amanda and I, along with Didzis, Andris, Inessa, Lasma, and Jay from Latvia went out to a house party where I drank a liquid I thought was wine but was rum and I ended up throwing up all over the floor. No one saw me, so that was wonderful. Me and the Latvians minus Andris went out to Lucky's Luke (a German typo) and had a drink of delicious banana juice before heading home. I also did up Didzis' face with white face paint and black eyeliner so he looked like The Crow and I drunkenly drew The Joker's makeup on my face. Strangely, the people in the club took to it and men started hitting on Didzis.
3. Birthday Weekend
For my birthday Nick and Nick from the Air Force base bought me drinks, took me out to their apartment and we ate Spaghetii-os and played Guitar Hero. It was the most amazing night ever. We even got to play with a puppy. Unfortunately, the puppy was covered in poo. It was still a nice night. On the way home, Romain and I saw a giant, wild pig and started screaming.
And that's been Trier so far! 22 more days until I come home for Christmas!
1. Latvian Snowman!
Amanda and I, along with the help of our Latvian friends Didzis, Andris and Inessa, went out during the first snow fall and made a snowwoman, complete with boobs, and slid down the hill on plastic bags. We made snow angels but Didzis kept falling on my head since he's so tall and we wrote our names in snow. That was Latvian Snow Night.
2. Latvian Party Night
Amanda and I, along with Didzis, Andris, Inessa, Lasma, and Jay from Latvia went out to a house party where I drank a liquid I thought was wine but was rum and I ended up throwing up all over the floor. No one saw me, so that was wonderful. Me and the Latvians minus Andris went out to Lucky's Luke (a German typo) and had a drink of delicious banana juice before heading home. I also did up Didzis' face with white face paint and black eyeliner so he looked like The Crow and I drunkenly drew The Joker's makeup on my face. Strangely, the people in the club took to it and men started hitting on Didzis.
3. Birthday Weekend
For my birthday Nick and Nick from the Air Force base bought me drinks, took me out to their apartment and we ate Spaghetii-os and played Guitar Hero. It was the most amazing night ever. We even got to play with a puppy. Unfortunately, the puppy was covered in poo. It was still a nice night. On the way home, Romain and I saw a giant, wild pig and started screaming.
And that's been Trier so far! 22 more days until I come home for Christmas!
Monday, November 10, 2008
THE REALLY SCARY NIGHT
I hate my room. It is 7 in the morning and I have not slept at all due to the fact that it was windy and things kept knocking my window and causing all of Tarforst to lurch in creepy, creepy ways. I have class all day starting at 10 am and I have hardly slept all weekend. Right now there's this weird tapping on my window and at one point I laid my head down and my body immediately became paralyzed and my head felt really fuzzy. I was terrified. I thought I was being possessed or something so I sat there, paralyzed and terrified with the lights on, unable to do anything, until I forced my hand to move. WTF? Am I going insane? This room is creepy and weird and I don't like strange sounds while I sleep. I've had the light on all night and now that people are waking up there are more creepy, weirdo sounds. UNHAPPY.
Monday, October 27, 2008
The HouseFucker
The Hausmeister of Tarforst cannot smile or laugh. His ancient face would break.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst does not have children at home because when they were birthed they flew away on leathery wings.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst is made of slime and scales and mutilated puppy dog tails.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst hates happiness. It angers him.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst crawled from the depths of another dimension, if you stare directly into his eyes you can see the deep, emptiness of Zero.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst was born at the age of 65 from someone's mutilated penis and sea foam.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst cannot eat sugar, anything sweet with rot his miserable head.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst is mostly cyborg. He had his feeling removed many eons ago.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst once got drunk and tried to beat his wife, but he fell down the stairs instead. That's why his head is so soft.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst wears those flannet long sleeve shirts because his torso is burned from the sun. He cannot stand the sun.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst causes the constant rain in Trier. He wants to spread despair and disease in his miserable wake.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst will one day die and when his tainted spirit reaches it's destination he will topple the dark master of that realm. From his black throne he will lash together a machine of bone and blood and, fueled by his hatred of college students, this fear engine will bore a hole between this one and that one. When it begins we will hear the sound of children screaming - as if from a great distance. A smoking orb of nothing will grow above your bed and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As he slips through the widening maw in his new form the Trier will catch only a moment of his radiance before it is incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down his face, his dark work will begin.
He will open one of his six mouths and sing the song that ends the Earth.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst does not have children at home because when they were birthed they flew away on leathery wings.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst is made of slime and scales and mutilated puppy dog tails.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst hates happiness. It angers him.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst crawled from the depths of another dimension, if you stare directly into his eyes you can see the deep, emptiness of Zero.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst was born at the age of 65 from someone's mutilated penis and sea foam.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst cannot eat sugar, anything sweet with rot his miserable head.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst is mostly cyborg. He had his feeling removed many eons ago.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst once got drunk and tried to beat his wife, but he fell down the stairs instead. That's why his head is so soft.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst wears those flannet long sleeve shirts because his torso is burned from the sun. He cannot stand the sun.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst causes the constant rain in Trier. He wants to spread despair and disease in his miserable wake.
The Hausmeister of Tarforst will one day die and when his tainted spirit reaches it's destination he will topple the dark master of that realm. From his black throne he will lash together a machine of bone and blood and, fueled by his hatred of college students, this fear engine will bore a hole between this one and that one. When it begins we will hear the sound of children screaming - as if from a great distance. A smoking orb of nothing will grow above your bed and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As he slips through the widening maw in his new form the Trier will catch only a moment of his radiance before it is incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down his face, his dark work will begin.
He will open one of his six mouths and sing the song that ends the Earth.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
WHAT?!
WHAT?
Things are getting stranger and stranger here. I went for a two hour walk to find the Visa office and started out in good spirits. As I went, though, I started to get a stuffy head and my throat started to clog. I got sicker and sicker with each step and I had no choice but to continue on to the Visa place where I met a man who spoke like a Nazi and I got my Passport all updated and stuff.
So, I began to walk home, back to the Porta Nigra where I could catch the bus but I was feeling absolutely miserable. Half an hour later when I finally got into my room I collapsed on the bed in tears, completely confused as to how I had gotten a fever.
The next 24 hours in bed were harrowing. I couldn't get up to make myself food so I didn't eat for a whole day, I couldn't get myself water so I just sat in bed and had nightmares all through the night, waking up every two hours or so. It was the most miserable night I've ever had. But here's the funny part:
For the last two weeks or so I've had a big, loose taste bud in the center of my tongue. It was HUGE and it moved around, like it was going to fall off. I didn't think much of it all night but after 24 hours of total suffering I looked in the mirror to find it was big, loose, purple and infected. I touched it and it fell right off. Throat pain cleared and headache started to fade. I had been in misery because my TASTE BUD was infected. How does this happen? I'm beginning to think that certain unique things only happen to me.
Things are getting stranger and stranger here. I went for a two hour walk to find the Visa office and started out in good spirits. As I went, though, I started to get a stuffy head and my throat started to clog. I got sicker and sicker with each step and I had no choice but to continue on to the Visa place where I met a man who spoke like a Nazi and I got my Passport all updated and stuff.
So, I began to walk home, back to the Porta Nigra where I could catch the bus but I was feeling absolutely miserable. Half an hour later when I finally got into my room I collapsed on the bed in tears, completely confused as to how I had gotten a fever.
The next 24 hours in bed were harrowing. I couldn't get up to make myself food so I didn't eat for a whole day, I couldn't get myself water so I just sat in bed and had nightmares all through the night, waking up every two hours or so. It was the most miserable night I've ever had. But here's the funny part:
For the last two weeks or so I've had a big, loose taste bud in the center of my tongue. It was HUGE and it moved around, like it was going to fall off. I didn't think much of it all night but after 24 hours of total suffering I looked in the mirror to find it was big, loose, purple and infected. I touched it and it fell right off. Throat pain cleared and headache started to fade. I had been in misery because my TASTE BUD was infected. How does this happen? I'm beginning to think that certain unique things only happen to me.
Double Post!
I just can't stop failing. Within a few hours of getting my door open I left with Matt and Heather to go into town and finally buy a cell phone. The phone was only 15 Euro and came with 5 Euros worth of minute already on it but alas, as I reached into my pocket I realized something so tragic it should not even be believed.
I had forgotten my key again.
Locked out now for the third time in two days I desperately ran back to campus with Heather and she boosted me up to my window which was, sadly, closed. I was out of options. It was the weekend.
So, we all gathered in Amanda's room and got our drink on with four bottles of wine and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Danielle from Ireland came over since she was sick and Amanda made her some chicken soup. Then there was me and Amanda and Heather and Didzis and Andris from Latvia came by. Selver and Bueket from Turkey came later and we drank heartily and started up a dance party in the room before heading out to Zapotex's for a post-test celebration.
So, I've got nowhere to go. I don't really want to sleep on Amanda's floor and I don't really want to have to bug Matt again but once I get to Zapotex's the wine hits me and I pass out in the bathroom for about half an hour. Then I rant to some Japanese students in German for twenty minutes (I think they really liked me) and I sat outside for an undetermined amount of time, zoning out and I got the phone number of this cool British guy. Said British guy I knew before hand and it was just a friendly number exchanging but it was a little jarring to look in my phone, see him number, and then not remember having exchanged numbers with anyone. Ah, wine drunk.
I ended up being walked to the bus stop by all of above mentioned friends who were planning on salsa dancing (I was in no condition to even brush my own teeth at this point) and I somehow got on the bus and made my way to Heather's bed where I crashed. Heather woke me up a few hours later by crawling into bed next to me and we slept until around 11 when I called the Hausmeister and gave up 15 Euros to get my room unlocked. Man, money is going fast.
I had forgotten my key again.
Locked out now for the third time in two days I desperately ran back to campus with Heather and she boosted me up to my window which was, sadly, closed. I was out of options. It was the weekend.
So, we all gathered in Amanda's room and got our drink on with four bottles of wine and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Danielle from Ireland came over since she was sick and Amanda made her some chicken soup. Then there was me and Amanda and Heather and Didzis and Andris from Latvia came by. Selver and Bueket from Turkey came later and we drank heartily and started up a dance party in the room before heading out to Zapotex's for a post-test celebration.
So, I've got nowhere to go. I don't really want to sleep on Amanda's floor and I don't really want to have to bug Matt again but once I get to Zapotex's the wine hits me and I pass out in the bathroom for about half an hour. Then I rant to some Japanese students in German for twenty minutes (I think they really liked me) and I sat outside for an undetermined amount of time, zoning out and I got the phone number of this cool British guy. Said British guy I knew before hand and it was just a friendly number exchanging but it was a little jarring to look in my phone, see him number, and then not remember having exchanged numbers with anyone. Ah, wine drunk.
I ended up being walked to the bus stop by all of above mentioned friends who were planning on salsa dancing (I was in no condition to even brush my own teeth at this point) and I somehow got on the bus and made my way to Heather's bed where I crashed. Heather woke me up a few hours later by crawling into bed next to me and we slept until around 11 when I called the Hausmeister and gave up 15 Euros to get my room unlocked. Man, money is going fast.
Friday, October 17, 2008
THE LOCK OUT
Alright. So, my continued Failures of Germany series; yesterday I locked myself out of my room. Twice. Sort of. This is how it went:
I woke up at 9 and stumbled out of my room to class. Class was fine and dandy, it was the last day, we had sang songs and all that jazz, but as I was walking back to my room I realized: MY KEY IS STILL ON THE TABLE. AND THE DOOR AUTOMATICALLY LOCKS.
I ran straight to the Hausmeister who was NOT there (he's never there when you need him) and then sat in Amanda's room, depressed for some time. Only later when the Hausmeister happened to walk by and open my door did I realize my folly. I went to reach for my key and it wasn't in the room either! Where could it be?
I slowly reached into my pocket and my heart froze as I pulled out....my key. I got laughed at a lot, then, but I was in my room and all was good.
Fast forward to later when I'm sitting in my room with my spankin' new guitar and Amanda calls my name. I grab my stuffed dog and cigarettes and walk into the hall and....BAM the fucking door slams shut on me. LOCKED OUT AGAIN. I screamed a long, loud, 'FUUUUUUUUUUUCK' and then walked around the entire campus looking for someone to help me. In a tank top. With no shoes. In the rain. All over the whole campus. I had Chadwin in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and I was limping from the effort since there are cobblestones everywhere and they HURT.
No one would light my cigarette since I looked like a crazy person, I suppose, and they walked on the other side of the sidewalk from me so I laughed at them to make them uncomfortable. Selver found me then and went to go get our tutors but she disappeared under the bridge and I stood there, yelling her name and looking really messed up. I waddled back to the dorm and was sad.
So, what's a girl to do? I realized I had a few choices:
1. Sleep on Amanda's floor
2. Sleep on Heather's floor
3. Sleep in Matt's bed with a down comfortor
I made this very hard choice and called up Matt. Then, after watching Ferngully in slightly improved spirits I borrowed a jacket, some shoes, and some money for the bus from Amanda and made my way into the city. It's about a twenty minute bus ride and then a twenty minute walk to Cusanushaus where Matt lives so I made the trek in the dark of the night, scared half to fucking death. After I got there he bought me a beer and we just hung out before crashing. For some reason I drool a lot in Matt's bed, I don't know why that is since I don't drool much in my own bed. Maybe I'm just reaaaaly comfortable in the down comfortor.
Funny story, though, since sometime after we fell asleep Matt, while sleeping mind you, very huskily said, 'ooooh yeah, that's right' and I was suddenly very awake. I started laughing at him but he didn't wake up so I just made fun of him in the morning. He told me he must have been heartily agreeing with someone in his dream. Sure.
So, that was my lock-out story. Matt and I got up at 7 in time for the test, the test went well, and the Hausmeister unlocked my door after being a huge ass. Amanda started laughing at him and he yelled at her in German to 'not laugh! it's not funny!!!' and we laughed harder. He hates us now.
So, don't get locked out in Germany. You'll have to sleep with boys and take long walks.
I woke up at 9 and stumbled out of my room to class. Class was fine and dandy, it was the last day, we had sang songs and all that jazz, but as I was walking back to my room I realized: MY KEY IS STILL ON THE TABLE. AND THE DOOR AUTOMATICALLY LOCKS.
I ran straight to the Hausmeister who was NOT there (he's never there when you need him) and then sat in Amanda's room, depressed for some time. Only later when the Hausmeister happened to walk by and open my door did I realize my folly. I went to reach for my key and it wasn't in the room either! Where could it be?
I slowly reached into my pocket and my heart froze as I pulled out....my key. I got laughed at a lot, then, but I was in my room and all was good.
Fast forward to later when I'm sitting in my room with my spankin' new guitar and Amanda calls my name. I grab my stuffed dog and cigarettes and walk into the hall and....BAM the fucking door slams shut on me. LOCKED OUT AGAIN. I screamed a long, loud, 'FUUUUUUUUUUUCK' and then walked around the entire campus looking for someone to help me. In a tank top. With no shoes. In the rain. All over the whole campus. I had Chadwin in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and I was limping from the effort since there are cobblestones everywhere and they HURT.
No one would light my cigarette since I looked like a crazy person, I suppose, and they walked on the other side of the sidewalk from me so I laughed at them to make them uncomfortable. Selver found me then and went to go get our tutors but she disappeared under the bridge and I stood there, yelling her name and looking really messed up. I waddled back to the dorm and was sad.
So, what's a girl to do? I realized I had a few choices:
1. Sleep on Amanda's floor
2. Sleep on Heather's floor
3. Sleep in Matt's bed with a down comfortor
I made this very hard choice and called up Matt. Then, after watching Ferngully in slightly improved spirits I borrowed a jacket, some shoes, and some money for the bus from Amanda and made my way into the city. It's about a twenty minute bus ride and then a twenty minute walk to Cusanushaus where Matt lives so I made the trek in the dark of the night, scared half to fucking death. After I got there he bought me a beer and we just hung out before crashing. For some reason I drool a lot in Matt's bed, I don't know why that is since I don't drool much in my own bed. Maybe I'm just reaaaaly comfortable in the down comfortor.
Funny story, though, since sometime after we fell asleep Matt, while sleeping mind you, very huskily said, 'ooooh yeah, that's right' and I was suddenly very awake. I started laughing at him but he didn't wake up so I just made fun of him in the morning. He told me he must have been heartily agreeing with someone in his dream. Sure.
So, that was my lock-out story. Matt and I got up at 7 in time for the test, the test went well, and the Hausmeister unlocked my door after being a huge ass. Amanda started laughing at him and he yelled at her in German to 'not laugh! it's not funny!!!' and we laughed harder. He hates us now.
So, don't get locked out in Germany. You'll have to sleep with boys and take long walks.
Monday, October 13, 2008
The 'Us' Day
So, Amanda and I decided (well, not really decided, but ended up sleeping in and then being stuck with the decision) to stay in from our respective excursions and have an 'Us' Day. This is how it went:
I awoke around noon and knocked on Amanda's door. We decided to head over to the small market and exchange our bottles for precious MONIES as we were both low. But wait! What was this in our mailboxes?! A Sparkasse card?!?! Our hopes hinged on this single event, we had waited with baited breath, and here it was: OUR SPARKASSE BANK CARDS.
We laufed over to the Geldautomat and checked to see if there was any money on the card and WHAT? 350 EURO?? We rejoiced and threw our bottles into the air, dancing and singing. We celebrated with an extravagent meal at an Indian restaurant and by going on a shopping spree (don't worry, we were still budgeting).
So, after our delicious meal Amanda and I went into town where she bought a new red and black dress and I bought a small black dress for 5 Euros along with earrings, stockings, and a new matching underwear set and the most bomb awesome black and white scarf. I was in a shopping mood for the first time in my entire life. We rejoiced heartily.
Later, we grabbed a bottle of wine and drank while watching Treasure Planet, getting ready for the Mexican birthday going on in Martinskloster. I wore high heeled boots which was the biggest mistake of my life as we not only walked to Martinskloster from the Porta Nigra (a 20ish minute walk) we also walked to A1 from Martinskloster which was another 20-30 minute walk. My feet were bloody stumps by the end. I spent the whole of the night sitting on a bar stool, drinking tap water and feeling, or rather, not feeling, my feet.
Met up with this strange guy who is what I will now dub 'MexiFrench'. Born in Mexico, lives in France, speaks complete gibberish almost all of the time. He was smitten with Amanda and, because he was a nice guy, he came home in our cab with us and we made some food which he ate with us before leaving to catch his train to France. I forgot to mention that it was 6:00 am when we left the club and almost 7:30 by the time I got to bed. The saddest part was that I was not even drunk, just tired and in pain.
I could never recall the MexiFrench's name and so I refer to him as Bippidee Bopiddy Boo. It was something in that area.
Finally got to sleep after a night of being pressed close to smelly people and it was wonderful. My stuffed dog awaited me and all was right with the world.
I awoke around noon and knocked on Amanda's door. We decided to head over to the small market and exchange our bottles for precious MONIES as we were both low. But wait! What was this in our mailboxes?! A Sparkasse card?!?! Our hopes hinged on this single event, we had waited with baited breath, and here it was: OUR SPARKASSE BANK CARDS.
We laufed over to the Geldautomat and checked to see if there was any money on the card and WHAT? 350 EURO?? We rejoiced and threw our bottles into the air, dancing and singing. We celebrated with an extravagent meal at an Indian restaurant and by going on a shopping spree (don't worry, we were still budgeting).
So, after our delicious meal Amanda and I went into town where she bought a new red and black dress and I bought a small black dress for 5 Euros along with earrings, stockings, and a new matching underwear set and the most bomb awesome black and white scarf. I was in a shopping mood for the first time in my entire life. We rejoiced heartily.
Later, we grabbed a bottle of wine and drank while watching Treasure Planet, getting ready for the Mexican birthday going on in Martinskloster. I wore high heeled boots which was the biggest mistake of my life as we not only walked to Martinskloster from the Porta Nigra (a 20ish minute walk) we also walked to A1 from Martinskloster which was another 20-30 minute walk. My feet were bloody stumps by the end. I spent the whole of the night sitting on a bar stool, drinking tap water and feeling, or rather, not feeling, my feet.
Met up with this strange guy who is what I will now dub 'MexiFrench'. Born in Mexico, lives in France, speaks complete gibberish almost all of the time. He was smitten with Amanda and, because he was a nice guy, he came home in our cab with us and we made some food which he ate with us before leaving to catch his train to France. I forgot to mention that it was 6:00 am when we left the club and almost 7:30 by the time I got to bed. The saddest part was that I was not even drunk, just tired and in pain.
I could never recall the MexiFrench's name and so I refer to him as Bippidee Bopiddy Boo. It was something in that area.
Finally got to sleep after a night of being pressed close to smelly people and it was wonderful. My stuffed dog awaited me and all was right with the world.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
THE LAST THREE WEEKS IN RHEINLAND-PFALZ
So, the few of you who follow my blog are probably wondering where the fuck I've been over the last three weeks or so. Here is a very fast and sweet summary of events:
One day Matt Bongers and Forehead from The Great Land of Minneapolis called and said they were hitch hiking through. The next day they were here with three other friends and they stayed in our rooms (me and Amanda) for a good while. There was much drinking and partying and fun to be had and most of them got really sucked into watching House. Forehead gave me a tattoo with a sewing needle and some India Ink and then I gave myself one on my knee of musical notes that hurt like a fucking bitch.
We spent many nights at the Irish Pub and, after about three days, the OTHER International students got here. There was Anne from Virginia and Matt from Colorado, and then Buket and Selver from Turkey and Andres and Didzes (which I cannot spell or pronounce) from Latvia who are beautiful, and many, many more. So now we ALL went out drinking and partying every night and Jake, one of the hitch hikers, fell desperately in love with a beautiful 28 year old Polish waitress. She took him home and treated him like a King and managed to get me a job at a bar (which I am still waiting on news for) and when he left they parted sweetly.
The hitch hikers eventually left, first the four, Britney, Mitch, Jake, and Bongers, and then Forehead several days later. Forehead, having fallen into something resembling love with a beautiful Turkish girl, was verliebt for the last couple days. I had an affair and then another and fell into a pattern of drinking and singing and dancing and then drinking and then passing the fuck out. In a healthy, regular drinker sort of way. Not in a 'drunk at 10 am' sort of way. Don't worry, Amanda Dutcher's relatives. I know you read this.
So, the hitch hikers left after giving me a bitchin' tattoo and being awesome for about a week and a half and now it feels lonely around here. It went from nothing going on in the Land of Douche to a million things happening at every second of the day. Amanda spent a day washing her floor since our rooms were pretty trashed. I had to move everything around and now my bed is under the window (A MISTAKE). It's cold all the time there and I wake up sort of damp feeling from dew.
During The Hitch Hiker Time we went to new bars, Forehead sang 'Sweet Caroline' and it was the greatest karaoke performance ever, we all got drunk by the Mosel River and rolled in itch weed, met another student from Hamline (Heather), and everyone fell in something like love. It was a crazy, crazy time. I had a lot of weird dreams during this period, too. I can't even begin to describe them.
So, this is the first part of 'What's Been Up With Monad'. When I think of more I'll update again. Right now there is not much to do and not much happening. Tonight, I plan on being drunk again and dancing, an activity I only participate in when totally 'shit faced' as we say back in the States.
And no, Tyler, no one has stolen my asian treasures. They're still safe and sound, tucked away. I'm trying to figure out which cigarettes to get you, if I could find cigarettes made from the water of the Rhein and the blood of a Nazi, and tobacco dried in the heart of a German volacno, I would dub them 'Guten Tag' and bring them to thee. But German doesn't really have 'GERMAN' cigarettes. Everything says 'AMERICAN BLEND!' on them and then 'Made in the EU' in tiny lettering.
So, bis bald, until next time, dear readers. A lot is happening, a lot of German is being learned, and someday I hope to be able to post in Deutsch. Vielleicht. Go ahead and throw some comments my way, it's still lonely sometimes in this vast interweb.
One day Matt Bongers and Forehead from The Great Land of Minneapolis called and said they were hitch hiking through. The next day they were here with three other friends and they stayed in our rooms (me and Amanda) for a good while. There was much drinking and partying and fun to be had and most of them got really sucked into watching House. Forehead gave me a tattoo with a sewing needle and some India Ink and then I gave myself one on my knee of musical notes that hurt like a fucking bitch.
We spent many nights at the Irish Pub and, after about three days, the OTHER International students got here. There was Anne from Virginia and Matt from Colorado, and then Buket and Selver from Turkey and Andres and Didzes (which I cannot spell or pronounce) from Latvia who are beautiful, and many, many more. So now we ALL went out drinking and partying every night and Jake, one of the hitch hikers, fell desperately in love with a beautiful 28 year old Polish waitress. She took him home and treated him like a King and managed to get me a job at a bar (which I am still waiting on news for) and when he left they parted sweetly.
The hitch hikers eventually left, first the four, Britney, Mitch, Jake, and Bongers, and then Forehead several days later. Forehead, having fallen into something resembling love with a beautiful Turkish girl, was verliebt for the last couple days. I had an affair and then another and fell into a pattern of drinking and singing and dancing and then drinking and then passing the fuck out. In a healthy, regular drinker sort of way. Not in a 'drunk at 10 am' sort of way. Don't worry, Amanda Dutcher's relatives. I know you read this.
So, the hitch hikers left after giving me a bitchin' tattoo and being awesome for about a week and a half and now it feels lonely around here. It went from nothing going on in the Land of Douche to a million things happening at every second of the day. Amanda spent a day washing her floor since our rooms were pretty trashed. I had to move everything around and now my bed is under the window (A MISTAKE). It's cold all the time there and I wake up sort of damp feeling from dew.
During The Hitch Hiker Time we went to new bars, Forehead sang 'Sweet Caroline' and it was the greatest karaoke performance ever, we all got drunk by the Mosel River and rolled in itch weed, met another student from Hamline (Heather), and everyone fell in something like love. It was a crazy, crazy time. I had a lot of weird dreams during this period, too. I can't even begin to describe them.
So, this is the first part of 'What's Been Up With Monad'. When I think of more I'll update again. Right now there is not much to do and not much happening. Tonight, I plan on being drunk again and dancing, an activity I only participate in when totally 'shit faced' as we say back in the States.
And no, Tyler, no one has stolen my asian treasures. They're still safe and sound, tucked away. I'm trying to figure out which cigarettes to get you, if I could find cigarettes made from the water of the Rhein and the blood of a Nazi, and tobacco dried in the heart of a German volacno, I would dub them 'Guten Tag' and bring them to thee. But German doesn't really have 'GERMAN' cigarettes. Everything says 'AMERICAN BLEND!' on them and then 'Made in the EU' in tiny lettering.
So, bis bald, until next time, dear readers. A lot is happening, a lot of German is being learned, and someday I hope to be able to post in Deutsch. Vielleicht. Go ahead and throw some comments my way, it's still lonely sometimes in this vast interweb.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
The Shittiest Night Ever
...and was it shitty. Tonight all I achieved was a lot of pizza eating (which was not the shitty part, this came before), shitting in a train yard, staring at a sad puppy while I smoke all of my cigarettes for two hours, and then spending a weeks worth of grocery money on a taxi. Do you know how important 15 Euros is? I'm lucky to have two coins to rub together, 15 Euros is amazing. 15 Euros is food, toilet paper, shelter, cigarettes, snacks and drinks and so much more. Bus tickets, phone calls, everything. I can get all of that for 15 Euros. And I spent it on a taxi ride because it was cold and I was a long, long way from home. This is how it goes:
Amanda and I went to this club, A1 Music Park, to meet up with some people. We get there and it is a huge, ridiculous CENTER, like Target Center, with a giant light on the top like a casino and a line at least 500 people long to get in. We stand in line, leave the line to meet Yu at the bus station, and then stand in line again. I am sick. I have a stomach ache that moves buildings, I feel like I'm going to die and I'm near tears. It's like my bowels exploded inside my stomach, from a scale of 1 to 10 my pain is a 5,000. Eventually, I abandon all hope, run into the far train yard after telling Amanda I'd go there, and end up squatting in a desolate train yard, in a bramble bush.
Feeling better, I go back to the line and Amanda and Yu are nowhere to be found. I look all over, call their names, but I figure they went in. I am disheartened and stand at the back on the line, having no cell phone, hoping that I will find Amanda inside and everything will be good again.
I wait in the line for two hours. Halfway through I see a dog, sitting all alone inside the stairwell, looking sadder than I have ever seen a puppy look before. It stares at every person that goes past and then lies down and cries. It was horrible. I was very cold and very depressed, realizing that there are MORE people inside and that the chance of finding Amanda is very slim. I wait, regardless, and when I finally get to the front I am kicked out along with ten other people, for reasons that are no explained to me. I hear a guy say there are too many people and I stand there, completely bewildered, and ask in bad German if the bouncer has seen Amanda (fat chance, I know). The guy in front of my offers 500 dollars to get into the club and when the bouncer turns him down I figure I've been ousted from the line of Trier's elite and grab a cab home.
Now, this I don't get. I talk to the driver in German, but he answers me all in English. I answer his English questions in German and he keeps answering me in English. Okay, really, what the hell? Am I that obviously American? I could have been fucking Chinese or something, he didn't know. Anyway, the cab ride is silent except for Fat Bottomed Girls and Jesse's Girl on the radio which almost make my night okay, and I pay a week's worth of comfort for the ride. Now I'm in my room, hoping that Amanda is worried about me because I could very well be dead in a ditch and everyone else is having fun. I am going to be miserable when she tells me how much fun she had because I am not classy, pretty, or rich enough to get into some goddamn club and I had the worst stomach ache in the world tonight. I am most pissed about losing all that fucking money. What do I do to deserve this? Come on, really? I'm a Catholic. I live a pretty clean life. I'm in college, working my ass off to be somebody, right? Why is the world shitting on me? 15 EUROS. :O My god, I'm going to be poor again so soon and once you've been dirt poor, no money poor, no food poor, even for a week or two, you never want to be that way again.
So, yeah. It was a bad night. Never going out again if my life depends on it.
Amanda and I went to this club, A1 Music Park, to meet up with some people. We get there and it is a huge, ridiculous CENTER, like Target Center, with a giant light on the top like a casino and a line at least 500 people long to get in. We stand in line, leave the line to meet Yu at the bus station, and then stand in line again. I am sick. I have a stomach ache that moves buildings, I feel like I'm going to die and I'm near tears. It's like my bowels exploded inside my stomach, from a scale of 1 to 10 my pain is a 5,000. Eventually, I abandon all hope, run into the far train yard after telling Amanda I'd go there, and end up squatting in a desolate train yard, in a bramble bush.
Feeling better, I go back to the line and Amanda and Yu are nowhere to be found. I look all over, call their names, but I figure they went in. I am disheartened and stand at the back on the line, having no cell phone, hoping that I will find Amanda inside and everything will be good again.
I wait in the line for two hours. Halfway through I see a dog, sitting all alone inside the stairwell, looking sadder than I have ever seen a puppy look before. It stares at every person that goes past and then lies down and cries. It was horrible. I was very cold and very depressed, realizing that there are MORE people inside and that the chance of finding Amanda is very slim. I wait, regardless, and when I finally get to the front I am kicked out along with ten other people, for reasons that are no explained to me. I hear a guy say there are too many people and I stand there, completely bewildered, and ask in bad German if the bouncer has seen Amanda (fat chance, I know). The guy in front of my offers 500 dollars to get into the club and when the bouncer turns him down I figure I've been ousted from the line of Trier's elite and grab a cab home.
Now, this I don't get. I talk to the driver in German, but he answers me all in English. I answer his English questions in German and he keeps answering me in English. Okay, really, what the hell? Am I that obviously American? I could have been fucking Chinese or something, he didn't know. Anyway, the cab ride is silent except for Fat Bottomed Girls and Jesse's Girl on the radio which almost make my night okay, and I pay a week's worth of comfort for the ride. Now I'm in my room, hoping that Amanda is worried about me because I could very well be dead in a ditch and everyone else is having fun. I am going to be miserable when she tells me how much fun she had because I am not classy, pretty, or rich enough to get into some goddamn club and I had the worst stomach ache in the world tonight. I am most pissed about losing all that fucking money. What do I do to deserve this? Come on, really? I'm a Catholic. I live a pretty clean life. I'm in college, working my ass off to be somebody, right? Why is the world shitting on me? 15 EUROS. :O My god, I'm going to be poor again so soon and once you've been dirt poor, no money poor, no food poor, even for a week or two, you never want to be that way again.
So, yeah. It was a bad night. Never going out again if my life depends on it.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
The Poorest Monad in the World
I was poor. Was. I was so poor that I didn't have toilet paper. I was so poor that I ate plain rice and cried over my empty stomach. I was so poor I rolled the remaining tobacco from my butts into dictionary paper to smoke it. I was so poor I went to bed sad every night. But no more! I have entered a world called BUDGETING and I have over 50 Euros on my person and another large amount stashed the fuck away. No more crying over spilt water because it's the last of my water (I'm kidding, water comes from the tap.) I even bought SPONGES today. I had enough disposable money to buy sponges. Thank god, now I can do my dishes in peace.
Monday, September 15, 2008
MEXICO PARTY
So, two nights ago Amanda and I ventured out to meet our buddy Miguel for a party for Mexico's Independence Day. I ate some sort of meat and chocolate dish that was delicious but once I discovered that there was chocolate in it I sort of 'ughed' and felt weird and chocolately.
There was a man on the bus whose entire head was made of bumps and he looked a little like a weird version of the Hellraiser guy. When Amanda sat in front of him he actually moved his strange head back into my line of sight so I spent a long time staring out the window, trying not to stare at his bump head.
The party consisted of lots of drinking and dancing and lots of people trying to convince me to dance which was harrowing and frightening. I danced a little but once 5 in the morning rolled around I was ready to pass out and dance no more. One might say that I had danced myself out. Amanda, however, was still going strong.
There's not a lot to say, I found out some useful tourist things about Paris and danced ein bisschen but when Amanda and I got back to our rooms we ate pirogies (SP?!) rather than sleep. We made about 80 or so and ate them for three straight days. Delicious and filling. I felt like my ntire lower stomach was a rock for days. I still feel that way. BLARGH.
There was a man on the bus whose entire head was made of bumps and he looked a little like a weird version of the Hellraiser guy. When Amanda sat in front of him he actually moved his strange head back into my line of sight so I spent a long time staring out the window, trying not to stare at his bump head.
The party consisted of lots of drinking and dancing and lots of people trying to convince me to dance which was harrowing and frightening. I danced a little but once 5 in the morning rolled around I was ready to pass out and dance no more. One might say that I had danced myself out. Amanda, however, was still going strong.
There's not a lot to say, I found out some useful tourist things about Paris and danced ein bisschen but when Amanda and I got back to our rooms we ate pirogies (SP?!) rather than sleep. We made about 80 or so and ate them for three straight days. Delicious and filling. I felt like my ntire lower stomach was a rock for days. I still feel that way. BLARGH.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
The Best Band (Shirt) in the World
Alrightie, so last night Amanda and I made our way to Luxembourg for a night of listening to The Faint and hanging around. We got there, immediately were 'Oooh laaa laaa'ed from a car (a triumph, to have been 'ooh laaa laa'ed in a French speaking country) and travelled into the janky warehouse district to find the venue. After much running around for a cheeseburger we got into the show, met a woman named Brigette who was doing press stuff and trying to get an interview with The Faint, and I drank two useless shots of juice and vokda. I asked for vodka. I got it mixed with Loooooza juice.
So, the concert was great except for the group of rowdy British hipster boys behind us. I might have broken one of their hands had they not been slighty amusing and attractive. Hand breaking became more of an issue as I was jostled, had a sticker stuck to my back (which I found later), asked to buy them beers, had my butt grabbed, and was given a massage from one especially drugged out looking one in a suit jacket. I still danced (GASP) and enjoyed myself. The night was compounded later.
Amanda and I, having missed our train (which I cotinued to refer to as the 'bus' for some reason), wandered the club, sat around waiting for Brigette, and then, by Amanda's sly luck, HUNG OUT WITH THE FAINT. Amanda, sticking her head into the tour bus to inquire about Brigette, wanting to say good bye, was greeted with some members of The Faint coming out and having a cigarette with us. We were handed a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of vodka, respectively, and for two to three hours sat around and talked with The Faint guys and the sound guys. It was quite interesting.
But by now I was freezing in a tank top with no jacket, not having foreseen being out in Luxembourg in the early morning hours, and I desperately wanted to put on my Faint shirt. But I didn't want to look weird around The Faint, right? So I waited and, after getting out of sight of the bus, threw it on to be pleasantly surprised that it was INCREDIBLY SOFT AND WONDERFUL. It was a good fit, slightly baggy, and it was made from the softest shirt material known to man.
Go see The Faint. Get their tee shirt. It is totally worth it.
After I cooked Amanda and I meals at 7 in the morning we went to bed and I found that, GASP, I could not sleep. So I sat up and counted for awhile.
And that was my night.
So, the concert was great except for the group of rowdy British hipster boys behind us. I might have broken one of their hands had they not been slighty amusing and attractive. Hand breaking became more of an issue as I was jostled, had a sticker stuck to my back (which I found later), asked to buy them beers, had my butt grabbed, and was given a massage from one especially drugged out looking one in a suit jacket. I still danced (GASP) and enjoyed myself. The night was compounded later.
Amanda and I, having missed our train (which I cotinued to refer to as the 'bus' for some reason), wandered the club, sat around waiting for Brigette, and then, by Amanda's sly luck, HUNG OUT WITH THE FAINT. Amanda, sticking her head into the tour bus to inquire about Brigette, wanting to say good bye, was greeted with some members of The Faint coming out and having a cigarette with us. We were handed a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of vodka, respectively, and for two to three hours sat around and talked with The Faint guys and the sound guys. It was quite interesting.
But by now I was freezing in a tank top with no jacket, not having foreseen being out in Luxembourg in the early morning hours, and I desperately wanted to put on my Faint shirt. But I didn't want to look weird around The Faint, right? So I waited and, after getting out of sight of the bus, threw it on to be pleasantly surprised that it was INCREDIBLY SOFT AND WONDERFUL. It was a good fit, slightly baggy, and it was made from the softest shirt material known to man.
Go see The Faint. Get their tee shirt. It is totally worth it.
After I cooked Amanda and I meals at 7 in the morning we went to bed and I found that, GASP, I could not sleep. So I sat up and counted for awhile.
And that was my night.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Requiem for Chili Chips
WRITTEN LAST NIGHT:
Someone once told me that certain cautionary things made him terrified of being in certain, unprecedented situations. This certain person used the example of the rape play, the famous and wonderful rape play that Hamline puts on every year. Apparently this play made him terrified that he would, indeed, rape somebody. He was dead serious, too. If I mentioned who this individual was you'd know how serious he was. In other news, TextEdit counts 'ho' as a word.
I made the mistake of watching 'Requiem for a Dream', a movie that requires hugs afterwards (poor Jared Leto, he's going to have trouble hugging people after THAT, amirite? Okay, poor taste). That movie makes me terrified that I'm going to become a drug addict. Ridiculous, right? You don't just BECOME a drug addict. William S. Burroughs once talked about how long it would take to get a junk habit. Something like, a month or more of everyday intravenous drug use for a first timer. Okay, but still. I don't want my arm chopped off. I don't want to become a whore. I don't want to end up an old lady in a mental ward, wanting to be on television. I am just slightly terrified. Although, the movie does a very good job of not glorifying drug use, which is interesting. It also helps to have your druggie friends puking out their guts and screaming, that certainly isn't glorified in any way. In fact, having seen my fair share of vomit and head wounds from all night benders of god knows what, I'm pretty okay with not doing a whole ton of drugs most of the time. The most adverse effect my once friend, mentioned above, had from Adderal and Vodka was becoming 'CROCKLEY FOR BROCCOLI' and forcing his way into the kitchen to devour a bag of frozen broccoli. So it's not all bad. Then again, he did throw me from his house and tell me that I should go DIAF (die in a fire) after my brother was hospitalized simply because he was sick of me complaining about my weight. I try not to do that so much anymore.
It's 3:35 in the morning and for lack of things to do I've smoked a pack of cigarettes and eaten a bag of ChiliChips. I watched some Firefly, some Bleach, and then Requiem. Needless to say, I can't sleep, but it's not all that late so I'll probably be tired by 5ish. I just have fucking nothing to do until I DO become tired.
Someone once told me that certain cautionary things made him terrified of being in certain, unprecedented situations. This certain person used the example of the rape play, the famous and wonderful rape play that Hamline puts on every year. Apparently this play made him terrified that he would, indeed, rape somebody. He was dead serious, too. If I mentioned who this individual was you'd know how serious he was. In other news, TextEdit counts 'ho' as a word.
I made the mistake of watching 'Requiem for a Dream', a movie that requires hugs afterwards (poor Jared Leto, he's going to have trouble hugging people after THAT, amirite? Okay, poor taste). That movie makes me terrified that I'm going to become a drug addict. Ridiculous, right? You don't just BECOME a drug addict. William S. Burroughs once talked about how long it would take to get a junk habit. Something like, a month or more of everyday intravenous drug use for a first timer. Okay, but still. I don't want my arm chopped off. I don't want to become a whore. I don't want to end up an old lady in a mental ward, wanting to be on television. I am just slightly terrified. Although, the movie does a very good job of not glorifying drug use, which is interesting. It also helps to have your druggie friends puking out their guts and screaming, that certainly isn't glorified in any way. In fact, having seen my fair share of vomit and head wounds from all night benders of god knows what, I'm pretty okay with not doing a whole ton of drugs most of the time. The most adverse effect my once friend, mentioned above, had from Adderal and Vodka was becoming 'CROCKLEY FOR BROCCOLI' and forcing his way into the kitchen to devour a bag of frozen broccoli. So it's not all bad. Then again, he did throw me from his house and tell me that I should go DIAF (die in a fire) after my brother was hospitalized simply because he was sick of me complaining about my weight. I try not to do that so much anymore.
It's 3:35 in the morning and for lack of things to do I've smoked a pack of cigarettes and eaten a bag of ChiliChips. I watched some Firefly, some Bleach, and then Requiem. Needless to say, I can't sleep, but it's not all that late so I'll probably be tired by 5ish. I just have fucking nothing to do until I DO become tired.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Broke/Starving?
Not starving yet but I am becoming one of those people living from payment to payment for now. Mama never learned me right and so I've got a cabinet full of tortellini (the 75 cent kind with cheap meat parts inside), a deck or cards and a half a pack of Pall Malls. Life is good. It feels a little nice to live simply, it's just that Trier has nothing to do and I have three friends, one of which is Amanda. She is quite stir crazy now and may be off to Bonn so I guess I'll pick up a hobby that doesn't cost anything, like drawing. Things will be tough when I run out of paper. :O
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Whisky Tango Foxtrott
Sierre Oscar, Mike Yankee - Charlie Oscar Mike Papa Uniform Tango Echo Romeo - India Sierra - Bravo Romeo Oscar Kilo Echo November. Sierra Hotel India Tango.
India Tango ' Sierra - Lima Alpha Tango Echo. India ' Mike - Bravo Oscar Romeo Echo Delta.
India Tango ' Sierra - Lima Alpha Tango Echo. India ' Mike - Bravo Oscar Romeo Echo Delta.
Get-Hammed
I forgot to mentioned in the last post that as I was trying to tell Ms. Gorgon that my mother sent me a MoneyGram I said, "Meine Mutter hat mit MoneyGram geschinken." Alright, probably not so correct, but most incorrect of all is the fact that 'to send' is 'schicken' and 'schinken' is 'ham'. So I used a noun as a verb and said that my mother 'ge-ham'. Or, in English, 'My mother hammed me some money'. That was awesome.
The Gloomy Sunday continues, however, as I forgot my keys in my room this morning and now have no way to get back in as the HausMeister is not in his office util 11 tomorrow. So I'm sleeping on Amanda's floor under my jacket. It's going to be awesome.
The Gloomy Sunday continues, however, as I forgot my keys in my room this morning and now have no way to get back in as the HausMeister is not in his office util 11 tomorrow. So I'm sleeping on Amanda's floor under my jacket. It's going to be awesome.
Gloomy Sunday
Alrightie, I cursed my day. I listened to Billie Holiday's, 'Gloomy Sunday' yesterday morning and it began to rain. That should have been the first sign that something was wrong. Amanda and I then took the bus downtown, me totally broke and her with no small change besides one bus fare. We got to the GE Money Bank where, after walking in (and whamming the door into the standing insurance sign) everyone stared at us. We filled out a form for me to get my MoneyGram from Debo but honestly, I froze up and instead of German coming out of my mouth there was this, "JSKLdslkjsdlklksj" and a long, ceaseless 'eeeEEEEEeeee' in my head. Harrowing.
I sat there and the woman, now convinced that I spoke and understood absolutely zero German, proceeded to type in my information but needed my passport. So, in the rain, Amanda and I trudged back to the busstop and rode the bus, more crowded than I have ever seen it, back to campus. We got my passport and made the return trip, in the pouring rain, back to the GE Money Bank. This all took about an hour and a half.
THEN, the woman, Gisela Goergen, a medium set woman in a black laxy top and a tiny, red miniskirt, somewhere in her late fourties, took about an hour or so trying to get my information into the computer. There was confusion over whether I was Korean or American. A man named Bernd came and repeatedly tried to help. Amanda offered the solution several times but was ignored and we waited through a phone call until they finally figured out what she had been trying to tell them the whole time and I finally got my money. I was ready to swallow shotgun mouthwash.
We ate a huge meal at McDonald's and then ice cream. The rain was ridiculous and sadness was all around. I PMSed. I bawed. It was miserable and I felt miserable all day. BAW.
Moral of the story, never listen to Gloomy Sunday.
On another note, I am sure The Gorgon and Bernd are having a torried GE Money Bank affair. We will see how this progresses.
I sat there and the woman, now convinced that I spoke and understood absolutely zero German, proceeded to type in my information but needed my passport. So, in the rain, Amanda and I trudged back to the busstop and rode the bus, more crowded than I have ever seen it, back to campus. We got my passport and made the return trip, in the pouring rain, back to the GE Money Bank. This all took about an hour and a half.
THEN, the woman, Gisela Goergen, a medium set woman in a black laxy top and a tiny, red miniskirt, somewhere in her late fourties, took about an hour or so trying to get my information into the computer. There was confusion over whether I was Korean or American. A man named Bernd came and repeatedly tried to help. Amanda offered the solution several times but was ignored and we waited through a phone call until they finally figured out what she had been trying to tell them the whole time and I finally got my money. I was ready to swallow shotgun mouthwash.
We ate a huge meal at McDonald's and then ice cream. The rain was ridiculous and sadness was all around. I PMSed. I bawed. It was miserable and I felt miserable all day. BAW.
Moral of the story, never listen to Gloomy Sunday.
On another note, I am sure The Gorgon and Bernd are having a torried GE Money Bank affair. We will see how this progresses.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Iiiiiiit's MIKA
There's this guy on campus that I see almost every day in the Menses and he looks pretty much just like Mika with glasses. Everytime I see him I get the horrible urge to run up and start singing, "Iiiiiit's MIKA!" and then start clapping my hands.
Hopefully, this weekend, a friend will be cooking delicious Mexican food. My bowels cannot wait.
Also, I believe that a colony of fish flies is breeding somewhere in my room. They appear, fly around weirdly, as if retarded, or perhaps, overjoyed, and I kill them with a book. When a fish fly is killed with something heavy and so suddenly, their legs FLY out in every direction. They are EVERYWHERE, whether the door is open or not.
Last note, Amanda has a friend named Urine.
Hopefully, this weekend, a friend will be cooking delicious Mexican food. My bowels cannot wait.
Also, I believe that a colony of fish flies is breeding somewhere in my room. They appear, fly around weirdly, as if retarded, or perhaps, overjoyed, and I kill them with a book. When a fish fly is killed with something heavy and so suddenly, their legs FLY out in every direction. They are EVERYWHERE, whether the door is open or not.
Last note, Amanda has a friend named Urine.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
RAGE AND BAAAWW
Rufus Wainwright is playing at the State Theatre on October 16th an I am in Europe. My heart is mother fucking broken. I think I'll treat myself to Joshua Bell in Paris to make up for it but it's not Rufus Wainwright. It's just not. Even if it is in Paris on my birthday. BAW.
On another note, I was waving my arms around to The Velvet Underground and Nico, 'I'll Be Your Mirror' and some German people thought I was waving at them and they stopped and stared at me and I just felt really weird.
Now we're singing along to Kanye West on a bench and it is infinitely more awesome in a different way.
On another note, I was waving my arms around to The Velvet Underground and Nico, 'I'll Be Your Mirror' and some German people thought I was waving at them and they stopped and stared at me and I just felt really weird.
Now we're singing along to Kanye West on a bench and it is infinitely more awesome in a different way.
FIXED
I decided that I should sit down, read and Irvine Welsh book, and listen to Bob Dylan.
I am on the way to recovery.
I am on the way to recovery.
It Was Bound to Happen
Amanda is back and thank god, now I have someone to talk to and I can finally type on my computer again. I still don't have a converter. But what, you ask, was bound to happen?
It's a vicious cycle, I keep rediscovering emo things. No matter what I do, I accidentally turn on The Spill Canvas or I listen to Jesus of Suburbia one too many times and suddenly I'm all dressed in black and looking sad again. It's not a good look for me, this I know, but I'm at a picnic table right now, listening to The Tide and being melancholy. MELANCHOLY, this is never a good thing. Remind me that this is horrible. Remind me that black is not my color. Tell me about the sunshine again. "I'm the son of rage and love. The Jesus of Suburbia, from the bible of none of the above, on a steady diet of soda pop and ritalin..."
I'm not playing around here. I'm emo again. Make it stop.
It's a vicious cycle, I keep rediscovering emo things. No matter what I do, I accidentally turn on The Spill Canvas or I listen to Jesus of Suburbia one too many times and suddenly I'm all dressed in black and looking sad again. It's not a good look for me, this I know, but I'm at a picnic table right now, listening to The Tide and being melancholy. MELANCHOLY, this is never a good thing. Remind me that this is horrible. Remind me that black is not my color. Tell me about the sunshine again. "I'm the son of rage and love. The Jesus of Suburbia, from the bible of none of the above, on a steady diet of soda pop and ritalin..."
I'm not playing around here. I'm emo again. Make it stop.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
The Wonderful World of...
So, Haribo macht Kinder froh. Sometimes, staring into the Haribo gummi packages I start to think, wistfully to myself, how wonderful it would be to live in the Wonderful World of Haribo. I'd be surrounded with happy children and gummi bears and all sorts of delicious gummi creatures. The sun would always be shining and we would have adventures for gummi treasure that would be rewarding and lecker.
I actually thought all of this today when I ran out of gummis. I was looking into the empty package and wondering what a life in that wonderful world would be like.
I actually thought all of this today when I ran out of gummis. I was looking into the empty package and wondering what a life in that wonderful world would be like.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Wha-wha?
I was on my way to the library when I heard a man and a woman talking to each other from very far away. It sounded EXACTLY as if the man was talking BACKWARDS and I thought that, for a moment, in the dark black night of Doucheland, I had found myself trapped in some sort of temporal vortex. Alas, as I got closer I heard he was speaking in Mardarin.
To address the lack of hipsters or emos here:
Imagine 16 year olds gathered on a corner. The boys have black or closely shaved hair and the girls have colourful, dark hair. The boys are wearing giant, FUBU-like jackets and cocked white and black trucker hats. Their pants are dark and baggy and they have a lot of chains. The girls are skinnier than rails and wearing skinny jeans, black high heels, and have shirts that their lacy black bras come out the back of. Their hair is teased and they have large hoop or dangling earrings and lots of mascara on.
It seems that German youth culture is copying American hip hop culture. All of these kids are white. All look very rich. They smoke their skinny cigarettes outside of Burger King during the day and around the Banhof at night. It is harrowing.
To address the lack of hipsters or emos here:
Imagine 16 year olds gathered on a corner. The boys have black or closely shaved hair and the girls have colourful, dark hair. The boys are wearing giant, FUBU-like jackets and cocked white and black trucker hats. Their pants are dark and baggy and they have a lot of chains. The girls are skinnier than rails and wearing skinny jeans, black high heels, and have shirts that their lacy black bras come out the back of. Their hair is teased and they have large hoop or dangling earrings and lots of mascara on.
It seems that German youth culture is copying American hip hop culture. All of these kids are white. All look very rich. They smoke their skinny cigarettes outside of Burger King during the day and around the Banhof at night. It is harrowing.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Eine Frage
Hello Dear Readers, Herren und Damen, Ladies and People,
It's another fine and boring day in Doucheland. Thought I'd fill everyone in on the occurances of the day and give some lovely insights. I woke up BEFORE noon today and made myself some lunch which I carried to the Menses and ate with Flow. I also obtained a large, 70's style armchair which is now sitting, with no purpose, in the middle of my room.
The coolest new development of the day is probably the fact that I'm tinfoil wrapping my entire room. It gives it a certain sort of aura, makes it all shiny and reflective. I'll try and get pictures up when I'm done.
Now, a question for your readers, since I have no idea who still reads this. If you are reading, try and answer:
If you could sleep with (and never see again) any three dead celebrities, who would they be? I thought long and hard and came up with these three:
1. Gregory Peck around the time he did To Kill a Mockingbird
2. Young Andy Warhol
3. Humphrey Bogart
Now, to let me know who is still here, reading, let me know what youy answers are. Think long and hard. Heath Ledger does not count, he's too fresh.-
It's another fine and boring day in Doucheland. Thought I'd fill everyone in on the occurances of the day and give some lovely insights. I woke up BEFORE noon today and made myself some lunch which I carried to the Menses and ate with Flow. I also obtained a large, 70's style armchair which is now sitting, with no purpose, in the middle of my room.
The coolest new development of the day is probably the fact that I'm tinfoil wrapping my entire room. It gives it a certain sort of aura, makes it all shiny and reflective. I'll try and get pictures up when I'm done.
Now, a question for your readers, since I have no idea who still reads this. If you are reading, try and answer:
If you could sleep with (and never see again) any three dead celebrities, who would they be? I thought long and hard and came up with these three:
1. Gregory Peck around the time he did To Kill a Mockingbird
2. Young Andy Warhol
3. Humphrey Bogart
Now, to let me know who is still here, reading, let me know what youy answers are. Think long and hard. Heath Ledger does not count, he's too fresh.-
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Doucheland is Filled With Terrible Butts
So, this is Amanda's observation but it holds a lot of water and I thought I'd share.
Germany is filled with terrible butts. Not a round butt among them. You get this girls with Evian bottle waists and then, before you feel jealousy, notice that their butts are like round, Frisbee discs. Zum Beispiel:
I was waiting for the bus and a girl sat down near me. She had the face of Edie Sedgwick and the hair of Bonnie Tyler, bra strap sitcking out the back and tiny, ridiculous feet. She looked like a living Bratz doll with mascara crusted over her heart shaped face. She also was no thicker than, saaaay, a piece of paper. She also lacked the proper cushion to sit properly and so was balanced strangely leaning backwards. Ridiculous.
More food stories, however: In Amanda's absence I've had little else to do other than walk around and eat and notice very stupid things. In the meat section of Kaufland they sell hotdogs ALREADY COMPLETE, in the bun with a slice of yellow cheese. Just put on the grill! And there are a lot of these, not just a few. A lot. They have hamburgers. These aren't like your heat and run gas station burgers, these are honest to goodness, GO HOME AND DO THIS BECAUSE IT'S AMERICAN! I 'what the fucked' my way away from those and bought some marinated bargain meat that will give me precious protein.
Well, that was the post of the day. More observations to come.
Germany is filled with terrible butts. Not a round butt among them. You get this girls with Evian bottle waists and then, before you feel jealousy, notice that their butts are like round, Frisbee discs. Zum Beispiel:
I was waiting for the bus and a girl sat down near me. She had the face of Edie Sedgwick and the hair of Bonnie Tyler, bra strap sitcking out the back and tiny, ridiculous feet. She looked like a living Bratz doll with mascara crusted over her heart shaped face. She also was no thicker than, saaaay, a piece of paper. She also lacked the proper cushion to sit properly and so was balanced strangely leaning backwards. Ridiculous.
More food stories, however: In Amanda's absence I've had little else to do other than walk around and eat and notice very stupid things. In the meat section of Kaufland they sell hotdogs ALREADY COMPLETE, in the bun with a slice of yellow cheese. Just put on the grill! And there are a lot of these, not just a few. A lot. They have hamburgers. These aren't like your heat and run gas station burgers, these are honest to goodness, GO HOME AND DO THIS BECAUSE IT'S AMERICAN! I 'what the fucked' my way away from those and bought some marinated bargain meat that will give me precious protein.
Well, that was the post of the day. More observations to come.
Monday, August 25, 2008
OKAY DLAND, WHAT THE FUCK
I have some ridiculously stupid things to share about Germany today. First, the menu at Burger King is in English but they don't understand English there so you have to translate yourself. If it says ONION RINGS in big letters you should ask for Zwiebeln Ringen. Also, SIX, I shit you not, SIX tiny rings are 1.99 and then sauce is 0.25 extra. I got my six rings and ate them with Heinz Mild Curry sauce, WTF, which had the consistancy of honey. Also, Burger King Doucheland's breakfast menu is truly frightening. You can get a hash brown pattie on a bagel with, NO SHIT, tomato, cheese, and mayonnaise. I don't know why but it looks absolutely, truly a force I want no part of.
Also, I bought a picture of Humphrey Bogart today. I don't know why, it was just sitting there in a bargain bin for sale so I picked him up and I think I'll put him in my kitchen. James Dean can go in the bathroom.
I also found a store that sells nothing of interest. It was wall after wall of dog food, dried pasta in a bag, and discount cleaning supplies. I bought some dried onion snacks, FUNYUNS, and ran away.
Also, does anyone know what REALLY happened to Fruitopia? We used to have them in the school vending machines in High school, am I right? I haven't seen one in forever and when I look it up on The Google, I get a hit for Fruitopia Doucheland and it's pretty much Naked Juice. Has Fruitopia morphed to compete? This couple be a delicious battle.
I knew I had other things to say, but I cannot for the life of me remember. I'm really thirsty. JAAA NEEEE.
Also, I bought a picture of Humphrey Bogart today. I don't know why, it was just sitting there in a bargain bin for sale so I picked him up and I think I'll put him in my kitchen. James Dean can go in the bathroom.
I also found a store that sells nothing of interest. It was wall after wall of dog food, dried pasta in a bag, and discount cleaning supplies. I bought some dried onion snacks, FUNYUNS, and ran away.
Also, does anyone know what REALLY happened to Fruitopia? We used to have them in the school vending machines in High school, am I right? I haven't seen one in forever and when I look it up on The Google, I get a hit for Fruitopia Doucheland and it's pretty much Naked Juice. Has Fruitopia morphed to compete? This couple be a delicious battle.
I knew I had other things to say, but I cannot for the life of me remember. I'm really thirsty. JAAA NEEEE.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Wetter
The weather here is retarded. I mean that in the literal sense since it is slow and not quite up to date. I think Trier thinks that it is Spring. Or perhaps it thinks that it is.....yeah, Spring. Spring all year long is NOT nice as it means that it is warm and then COLD and then warm and then RAINING AND RAINING AND RAINIANINGIN all the day long.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
WeebleKraken
I walked past a bush today that started laughing in a deep, hearty voice and so, OF COUSE, I assumed that an old man was hiding in it and laughing to scare me. OF COURSE the old man couldn't have been BEHIND it with people, taking a walk and laughing jovially. He was totally IN the bush.
Yesterday we went on a Beer Vacation Thing and walked into the woods in the dark of the night and drank bier and ate pretzels. It was interesting that a school led function involving the dark Wald and beer for us wee students.
I'm really hungry right now. And I need to pee. And my eyes hurt, so off I go!!!
Yesterday we went on a Beer Vacation Thing and walked into the woods in the dark of the night and drank bier and ate pretzels. It was interesting that a school led function involving the dark Wald and beer for us wee students.
I'm really hungry right now. And I need to pee. And my eyes hurt, so off I go!!!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I thrill when I drill a bicuspid...
I sprayed some of my peach spray on my pajama shirt since I still smell like a bar but now I can only smell the alcohol in the stuff and feel a little sick.
Imagine, if you will, a small Irish pub in the middle of Germany. It's karaoke night and all of the international students are there. All of the employees, thank god, spoke english but I think the Irish guy thought I was ein bisschen retarded since my third gin and fifth shot didn't go down so hot. I coughed most of it back up into the glass.
While we were there, Mao left early. Mao, a sweet, pretty Japanese girl, has had her heart broken over one of our older (and I mean REALLY older) tutors who had a small indiscretion with another student (how this happened, I don't know since the student in question speaks Spanish and little German and the tutor speaks almost no English and only German. Maybe he speaks Spanish, this would surprise me). Sad faces all around. Tonight we're going to make her dinner and feed her delicious candy so perhaps she will forget this mishap of the heart.
In other news, I made myself proud by very tone-deafly singing my way through the Scissor Sisters, DENTIST! from Little Shop of Horrors, and All Star by Smashmouth in a German bar in front of a lot of people. Amanda recorded it and I still can't believe how tone deaf I am. It's ridiculous, it should be illegal.
To get to this point I downed a shot of jagermeister, a shot of gin, and a shot of tequila. About an hour later I pounded two gins (one of which came back up, it was harrowing) and then I made my way to the stage once more.
I think this is the proudest thing I've ever had the privilege to say:
I sang Dentist, Steve Martin's role, from Little Shop of Horrors in an Irish pub in Germany.
Imagine, if you will, a small Irish pub in the middle of Germany. It's karaoke night and all of the international students are there. All of the employees, thank god, spoke english but I think the Irish guy thought I was ein bisschen retarded since my third gin and fifth shot didn't go down so hot. I coughed most of it back up into the glass.
While we were there, Mao left early. Mao, a sweet, pretty Japanese girl, has had her heart broken over one of our older (and I mean REALLY older) tutors who had a small indiscretion with another student (how this happened, I don't know since the student in question speaks Spanish and little German and the tutor speaks almost no English and only German. Maybe he speaks Spanish, this would surprise me). Sad faces all around. Tonight we're going to make her dinner and feed her delicious candy so perhaps she will forget this mishap of the heart.
In other news, I made myself proud by very tone-deafly singing my way through the Scissor Sisters, DENTIST! from Little Shop of Horrors, and All Star by Smashmouth in a German bar in front of a lot of people. Amanda recorded it and I still can't believe how tone deaf I am. It's ridiculous, it should be illegal.
To get to this point I downed a shot of jagermeister, a shot of gin, and a shot of tequila. About an hour later I pounded two gins (one of which came back up, it was harrowing) and then I made my way to the stage once more.
I think this is the proudest thing I've ever had the privilege to say:
I sang Dentist, Steve Martin's role, from Little Shop of Horrors in an Irish pub in Germany.
Monday, August 18, 2008
THE KRAKEN
I also thought I should let you know that I am the GREAT KRAKEN of the Sea.
I jumped into a fountain a couple of days ago, splashed around, and then shouted to all of Trier that I was not only A Kraken but THE GREAT KRAKEN of the Sea, or otherwise, The Fountain in the University.
I also made a delicious macaroni that has been dubbed "Kraken Mac" which is full of cheese and crack.
Also, Amanda just informed me that the division key is the forward slash. How ghey. In America we give everything their own keys.
I jumped into a fountain a couple of days ago, splashed around, and then shouted to all of Trier that I was not only A Kraken but THE GREAT KRAKEN of the Sea, or otherwise, The Fountain in the University.
I also made a delicious macaroni that has been dubbed "Kraken Mac" which is full of cheese and crack.
Also, Amanda just informed me that the division key is the forward slash. How ghey. In America we give everything their own keys.
I KILLED AN OLD LADY IN TRIER, JUST TO WATCH HER DIE
Yeah, so I was on the bus and I offered my seat to a nice lady with a cane, hoping to be polite. As she climbed into the seat she FELL between the wall and the seat onto the floor and started SCREAMING about her leg.
I stood there, not able to flee, not able to help. I grabbed her arm and tried to wrest her from the clutches of the bus but to no avail. The bus stopped, people crowded, and I was alone, trying to pull the old woman out. The bus driver came to my aid and I stood there awkwardly, asking if she was okay in broken German.
So, yeah. I almost killed an old lady. Adventures in Germany? Or failures. You make the choice.
I stood there, not able to flee, not able to help. I grabbed her arm and tried to wrest her from the clutches of the bus but to no avail. The bus stopped, people crowded, and I was alone, trying to pull the old woman out. The bus driver came to my aid and I stood there awkwardly, asking if she was okay in broken German.
So, yeah. I almost killed an old lady. Adventures in Germany? Or failures. You make the choice.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
DELICIOUS PEAS
I've gone out a couple of days without posting since the connection here is shoddy at best. Here's some of the stuff I typed out earlier.
You wouldn't believe some of the shit here in Europe. There are, like, twenty kinds of ketchup and everything has paprika in it. Nothing is spicy, abso-fucking-lutely nothing. I spent today sitting outside of a callshop reading Poppy Z. Brite next to a drifter I'm sure could read my mind. So far I've been hit on by a strange Brit from Manchester who keeps fucking with my Panda backpack and an Eastern European named Otto that looks like a Russian war criminal. I've eaten some bread and chips. Fucking delicious chips, though. I think I'm addicted to potato chips.
You wouldn't believe some of the shit here in Europe. There are, like, twenty kinds of ketchup and everything has paprika in it. Nothing is spicy, abso-fucking-lutely nothing. I spent today sitting outside of a callshop reading Poppy Z. Brite next to a drifter I'm sure could read my mind. So far I've been hit on by a strange Brit from Manchester who keeps fucking with my Panda backpack and an Eastern European named Otto that looks like a Russian war criminal. I've eaten some bread and chips. Fucking delicious chips, though. I think I'm addicted to potato chips.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Dingen
So, things are pretty much becoming routine, here. The Japanese students gsave me some delicious candy and we all took a 45 minute walk to a beach. It was a student beach on the river where you mostly sit and drink.
Nothing too interestring has happen. Maybe keeping a blog wasn't a great idea since there's nothing to write about. Except boring shit. I made a casserole in a pot which consisted of noodles, cheeses, kräuterbutter and Thai Sweet Chili potatoe chips. It was delicious. Stuff like that.
Nothing too interestring has happen. Maybe keeping a blog wasn't a great idea since there's nothing to write about. Except boring shit. I made a casserole in a pot which consisted of noodles, cheeses, kräuterbutter and Thai Sweet Chili potatoe chips. It was delicious. Stuff like that.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Nothing Happening Yet
Yet another day of nothing. I went to the store, though, in the city and bought a 30€ pot which I then burned things in. It's soaking in my sink right now. I walked a lot, ate a very little, and then came to the library. I was supposed to go to the river today with the Interantional people but felt like I hadn't slept much since I got here and chose to sleep until 3 pm instead. It was a good idea as I got to buy a pot and walk around a lot. And I bought a spoon. That was cool.
I don't think anything much is going to happen on the weekends since I don't have a phone and can't call anyone. I'm sure Amanda is out making friends as we speak but I think sleeping was a good choice because now I don't want to die every minute I have to walk from one bus stop to the next. I should also shower, there isn't much time for anything during the week.
I haven't gotten to practice much German today because talking to German people scares me but we'll see: when Amanda gets back maybe I can talk with her but the tour doesn't get back on the bus until 19:00 and I don't know how long the ride is.
Okay, enough boring things. I'll update Monday since Germany closes everything Sunday.
I don't think anything much is going to happen on the weekends since I don't have a phone and can't call anyone. I'm sure Amanda is out making friends as we speak but I think sleeping was a good choice because now I don't want to die every minute I have to walk from one bus stop to the next. I should also shower, there isn't much time for anything during the week.
I haven't gotten to practice much German today because talking to German people scares me but we'll see: when Amanda gets back maybe I can talk with her but the tour doesn't get back on the bus until 19:00 and I don't know how long the ride is.
Okay, enough boring things. I'll update Monday since Germany closes everything Sunday.
Friday, August 1, 2008
WTF Amanda speaks German?!?!?!
I actually thought of you, Salena, when Hercules came on. OF COURSE I watched that. 10,000 BC was so bad I turned it off after ten minutes. Okay, maybe more. 20 minutes, tops.
Germany has finally gotten interesting. We took an exam to place us in groups and I got the retard group. My friend there, Miller, only wrote his name on the test. Interesting thing, Miller is from St.Thomas and lives in DinkyTown. He leaves for Afghanistan (he's in the army) in three weeks and doesn't speak any German. We're gunna go get tattoos next week. :O You'd be very surprised that I hang out with him because he's pretty different from my usual group, but he's bmy Trier buddy and he's out drinking with Roman, the French guy, and David, the German one. Roman is so French it hurts; we went out to dinner and at the end he started talking up FOUR German ladies. Thex invited him to their table and he drank their wine, it was ridiculous. Whatta playa. Ladies, they're suckers for the french. Also, German is very pleasing in a French accent, it's cute.
So, things I've done: no awkward mistakes yet but they could be on the way. Miller intends to tell David that I fancy him and this could lead to me cracking heads. :P The International students all went out to dinner last night and then to a bar in the Judengasse called Styxx (with two 'x's). That was pretty cool. Best part is, we went with our tutors. Hamline would never allow something like that but we all went and got smashed and Roman sang a French drinking song and Amanda and I sang 'Livin on a Prayer'.
I was not so optimistic at first since things sort of sucked, being alone a lot, and I spent the better part of my days in my room, reading Margaret Atwood and listening to The Decemberists. Emo is no longer in my vocabulary since I'm less into Emo now than turn of the century fashion and history. Europe changes you, dude. Amanda would say differently; she'd tell you I was cutting myself in the fountains and crying at night but that's just because she's giving me shit. :O
So far I've met some cool people. Özga from Turkey is really nice, and so are the Japanese students, all whose names I know but can't spell properly so I won't try. Miller is cool, we talk about the stuff we miss (he hates Chipotle?! WTF) and Roman, the French guy, Regina, the Russian girl, and this girl from Poland are all really nice. The girl from Poland looks exactly like Jeanine from Switzerland, our senior year. It's crazy.
My German is much better now and I can hold whole conversations and understand a huge amount. I bought Dance, Dance, Dance by Haruki Murakami in German which is called, 'Tanz mit dem Schlafsman' or, Dance with the Sleepman. I'm pretty excited, aparently Murakami is really popular in Russia. I feel worldly now.
There are really no words for describing being in another country every moment and then waking up and knowing you're there for the long haul. Instead of being there for vacation and skipping through the language, you have to be familiar with all the roads and the buses and the people and the places. It's insane, I still don't know the way to Gebäude AB for sure, I walk around in the direction and hope to run into a sign. Also, German is in my every waking though. I think in German, I translate English songs in my head without trying, it's like a tiny dictionary in my head that's always open. The Japanese students call me the Otaku, too, since I mentioned some things about anime. I don't know whether to be proud or incredibly embaressed.
It's hot here but I finally bought a fan. My body cries daily and I've probably lost a lot of weight already from just not eating. I have no appetite and I only eat when I'm hungry. I've also never walked so much in my damn life; my feet are hardened and permanently black. When I get out of the shower my footprints are black with dirt.
So, Germany is alright. I haven't talked to Christopher yet but I intend to get his email adresse soon. Everyone should come visit me. Beck, when can you come? We'll do amaying things here, you'll fucking love it. It's a very 'precious' country.
Germany has finally gotten interesting. We took an exam to place us in groups and I got the retard group. My friend there, Miller, only wrote his name on the test. Interesting thing, Miller is from St.Thomas and lives in DinkyTown. He leaves for Afghanistan (he's in the army) in three weeks and doesn't speak any German. We're gunna go get tattoos next week. :O You'd be very surprised that I hang out with him because he's pretty different from my usual group, but he's bmy Trier buddy and he's out drinking with Roman, the French guy, and David, the German one. Roman is so French it hurts; we went out to dinner and at the end he started talking up FOUR German ladies. Thex invited him to their table and he drank their wine, it was ridiculous. Whatta playa. Ladies, they're suckers for the french. Also, German is very pleasing in a French accent, it's cute.
So, things I've done: no awkward mistakes yet but they could be on the way. Miller intends to tell David that I fancy him and this could lead to me cracking heads. :P The International students all went out to dinner last night and then to a bar in the Judengasse called Styxx (with two 'x's). That was pretty cool. Best part is, we went with our tutors. Hamline would never allow something like that but we all went and got smashed and Roman sang a French drinking song and Amanda and I sang 'Livin on a Prayer'.
I was not so optimistic at first since things sort of sucked, being alone a lot, and I spent the better part of my days in my room, reading Margaret Atwood and listening to The Decemberists. Emo is no longer in my vocabulary since I'm less into Emo now than turn of the century fashion and history. Europe changes you, dude. Amanda would say differently; she'd tell you I was cutting myself in the fountains and crying at night but that's just because she's giving me shit. :O
So far I've met some cool people. Özga from Turkey is really nice, and so are the Japanese students, all whose names I know but can't spell properly so I won't try. Miller is cool, we talk about the stuff we miss (he hates Chipotle?! WTF) and Roman, the French guy, Regina, the Russian girl, and this girl from Poland are all really nice. The girl from Poland looks exactly like Jeanine from Switzerland, our senior year. It's crazy.
My German is much better now and I can hold whole conversations and understand a huge amount. I bought Dance, Dance, Dance by Haruki Murakami in German which is called, 'Tanz mit dem Schlafsman' or, Dance with the Sleepman. I'm pretty excited, aparently Murakami is really popular in Russia. I feel worldly now.
There are really no words for describing being in another country every moment and then waking up and knowing you're there for the long haul. Instead of being there for vacation and skipping through the language, you have to be familiar with all the roads and the buses and the people and the places. It's insane, I still don't know the way to Gebäude AB for sure, I walk around in the direction and hope to run into a sign. Also, German is in my every waking though. I think in German, I translate English songs in my head without trying, it's like a tiny dictionary in my head that's always open. The Japanese students call me the Otaku, too, since I mentioned some things about anime. I don't know whether to be proud or incredibly embaressed.
It's hot here but I finally bought a fan. My body cries daily and I've probably lost a lot of weight already from just not eating. I have no appetite and I only eat when I'm hungry. I've also never walked so much in my damn life; my feet are hardened and permanently black. When I get out of the shower my footprints are black with dirt.
So, Germany is alright. I haven't talked to Christopher yet but I intend to get his email adresse soon. Everyone should come visit me. Beck, when can you come? We'll do amaying things here, you'll fucking love it. It's a very 'precious' country.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Now I'm in Germany
Okay, so it's Day 2 and I'm in he library typing away. The keyboards here have the y and the z mixed up so everything is slowed down. Also, I have no idea where the backslash is. At all. I looked, it's not here.
Germany is pretty uneventful so far: I ate, slept, walked around, got lost on the way to class, and that was about it. I did smoke Lucky Srike Lights, though, and that was epic. I'll make sure to bring some home for everyone.
After Charlotte, not a lot happened, either. I got on the plane, watched Hercules, and was uncomfortable for 8 hours. Nothing noteworrthy; no akward situations yet. I'm sure those are to come, though. I know that's what you're all waiting for. What I can't wait for is the news report afer Nathan squishes a small asian girl to death in China simply by stepping on the wrong spot at the wrong time. She'll never see it coming, she'll just be squished by a large, blonde American and his large, European nose.
I forgot that I'm not incredibly fond of Germany. I probably should have thought of that earlier but I glossed it over in my head and forgot that I neither like German nor speak it very well. So, here I am. Not a lot of prospects.
I'm actually quite annoyed with Germany at the moment, which I'm sure will pass. Amanda dislikes my negativity but I like to say, as Chris once did, that I'm not a pessimist but, rather, a realist. I realiye that I'm going to be here for awhile and to feign optimism would just end up corrupting my soul. I'm just trying to gradually adjust and not leap at the wonderful, happy oppurtunity to take part in every happy, wonderful thing. Sometimes, you should just sleep and sit on your ass, no matter what country you're in. You'll have plenty of time to 'explore and discover!!!' throughout the year. :P So right now I'm sitting on my ass.
Also, Beck, I can't wait for you to come. We can do awkward things all over Germany. I have no problem with dancing the robot and bumping into people until they kick us out of the country.
That's all for now. Stay classy.
Germany is pretty uneventful so far: I ate, slept, walked around, got lost on the way to class, and that was about it. I did smoke Lucky Srike Lights, though, and that was epic. I'll make sure to bring some home for everyone.
After Charlotte, not a lot happened, either. I got on the plane, watched Hercules, and was uncomfortable for 8 hours. Nothing noteworrthy; no akward situations yet. I'm sure those are to come, though. I know that's what you're all waiting for. What I can't wait for is the news report afer Nathan squishes a small asian girl to death in China simply by stepping on the wrong spot at the wrong time. She'll never see it coming, she'll just be squished by a large, blonde American and his large, European nose.
I forgot that I'm not incredibly fond of Germany. I probably should have thought of that earlier but I glossed it over in my head and forgot that I neither like German nor speak it very well. So, here I am. Not a lot of prospects.
I'm actually quite annoyed with Germany at the moment, which I'm sure will pass. Amanda dislikes my negativity but I like to say, as Chris once did, that I'm not a pessimist but, rather, a realist. I realiye that I'm going to be here for awhile and to feign optimism would just end up corrupting my soul. I'm just trying to gradually adjust and not leap at the wonderful, happy oppurtunity to take part in every happy, wonderful thing. Sometimes, you should just sleep and sit on your ass, no matter what country you're in. You'll have plenty of time to 'explore and discover!!!' throughout the year. :P So right now I'm sitting on my ass.
Also, Beck, I can't wait for you to come. We can do awkward things all over Germany. I have no problem with dancing the robot and bumping into people until they kick us out of the country.
That's all for now. Stay classy.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Charlotte - The Land of the Christmas Tree Lady
28/07/08
So, I'm in Charlotte and I can't find anywhere to smoke, which is a harrowing experience, and I end up having to leave the airport, walk around the entire building, and find another smoker. On this adventure I discovered that Charlotte is named after Queen Charlotte, a German lady who became Queen of England and brought the Christmas tree into English culture.
I also ate some California Pizza Kitchen and felt sorry for myself when I got a horrible stomach ache. There's not much to say, the people of Charlotte seem similar to the people of Minneapolis only with cowboy hats and rocking chairs. Is it a Southern thing to have rocking chairs in the airport? At least they provide WiFi with the rocking chairs. Chadwin is getting homesick; he's sitting in the pillow right now being frustrated. We don't board until 4:00ish and I arrived here around 1 so it's been fun doing absolutely nothing for three hours. It's kind of like home.
I assume that Debo is at home now, or at the Courage Centre, being sad and Deboish. I will Skype you as soon as I get to Germany, find WiFi, and find a convertor for my laptop. It could be a few days.
So, I'm in Charlotte and I can't find anywhere to smoke, which is a harrowing experience, and I end up having to leave the airport, walk around the entire building, and find another smoker. On this adventure I discovered that Charlotte is named after Queen Charlotte, a German lady who became Queen of England and brought the Christmas tree into English culture.
I also ate some California Pizza Kitchen and felt sorry for myself when I got a horrible stomach ache. There's not much to say, the people of Charlotte seem similar to the people of Minneapolis only with cowboy hats and rocking chairs. Is it a Southern thing to have rocking chairs in the airport? At least they provide WiFi with the rocking chairs. Chadwin is getting homesick; he's sitting in the pillow right now being frustrated. We don't board until 4:00ish and I arrived here around 1 so it's been fun doing absolutely nothing for three hours. It's kind of like home.
I assume that Debo is at home now, or at the Courage Centre, being sad and Deboish. I will Skype you as soon as I get to Germany, find WiFi, and find a convertor for my laptop. It could be a few days.
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