OKAY DLAND, WHAT THE FUCK

I have some ridiculously stupid things to share about Germany today. First, the menu at Burger King is in English but they don't understand English there so you have to translate yourself. If it says ONION RINGS in big letters you should ask for Zwiebeln Ringen. Also, SIX, I shit you not, SIX tiny rings are 1.99 and then sauce is 0.25 extra. I got my six rings and ate them with Heinz Mild Curry sauce, WTF, which had the consistancy of honey. Also, Burger King Doucheland's breakfast menu is truly frightening. You can get a hash brown pattie on a bagel with, NO SHIT, tomato, cheese, and mayonnaise. I don't know why but it looks absolutely, truly a force I want no part of.

Also, I bought a picture of Humphrey Bogart today. I don't know why, it was just sitting there in a bargain bin for sale so I picked him up and I think I'll put him in my kitchen. James Dean can go in the bathroom.

I also found a store that sells nothing of interest. It was wall after wall of dog food, dried pasta in a bag, and discount cleaning supplies. I bought some dried onion snacks, FUNYUNS, and ran away.

Also, does anyone know what REALLY happened to Fruitopia? We used to have them in the school vending machines in High school, am I right? I haven't seen one in forever and when I look it up on The Google, I get a hit for Fruitopia Doucheland and it's pretty much Naked Juice. Has Fruitopia morphed to compete? This couple be a delicious battle.

I knew I had other things to say, but I cannot for the life of me remember. I'm really thirsty. JAAA NEEEE.